spank me i've been bad.

in fact, i've been absolutely terrible at this blog thing for about a month. and i'm going to continue being bad. last month was mostly overshadowed by the project FROM HELL that kept popping up at inconvenient moments. so spent much of said month as a recluse, precariously procrastinating then feverishly trying to finish. and did a LOT of cooking. quiche, muffins, apple pie good! banana-na bread and meatloaf, not so good.

listening to daniel bedingfield (hush!) right now. the man is whiny and i love it.

enjoy the pictures, too fried to do anything else right now. not making any promises.

easter fika, med choc chip (blueberry sub) muffins, strawberries and cream (and of course påsk must)!




stockholm trip (jag älskar den stan!). and it's DEFINITELY moving up on my list of fave cities. except, perhaps, the size of their ice teas, hence the picture.

the abc's of me

because i was tagged by tina and it's a cheap way to get another post in. no. 11, YEAH!

A-Available?: Depends on whose asking. and yea, i mean YOU, you sleazy bastards...
B-Best friend: i'm loved. i have many.
C-Cake or Pie: pie's are harder to bake, and so far the two i've made have turned out miserably, so i'm gonna have to go with cakes on this one. i wish i was ned.
D-Drink of choice: ice tea
E-Essential thing used everyday: KAJAL! kohl for the white people. guy liner for jack sparrow.
F-Favorite color: green. all the time, anytime.
G-Gummi bears or worms: neither.
H-Hometown: tck scmeeceekay. dhakaite at heart.
I-Indulgence: häagen-dazs strawberry cheesecake.
J-January or February: yea, i don't really care. i could pretend to, but i won't.
K-Kids and names: well, my kid sister's name is zara, my idea thank you. other than that, haven't even thought about it.
L-Life is incomplete without: having something to live, even fight, for.
M-Marriage date: 10 years from now, a FAB summer wedding. (i'm making a wedding folder)
N-Number of siblings: 2. i always have to think about it for like 2 seconds now, i'm like whaaat? i have a kid sis. i actually said to someone the other day i just have a brother, then i had to go back 5 minutes later. that's not right.
O-Oranges or apples: plums. why you little deviant you!
P-Phobias: right now, chorophobia (fear of dancing) and cancerophobia (yea, guess what that is)
Q-Quote: frankly my dear, i don't give a damn. did you know that the frankly was only added in the movie? genius.
R-Reason to smile: the little stupid botch-ups that happen during the day.
S-Season: late spring to summer
T-Tag three people: no.
U-Unknown fact about me: want to be an organ donor someday soon.
V-Vegetable you do not like: capsicum
W-Worst habit: not environmentally conscious enough, not following-through. there, you get two!
X-rays you have had: ingen.
Y-Your favourite food: korean and anything that's baked, ooo, with icing!
Z-Zodiac: c-c-c-cancer!

the many moods of me.

let's see, there's tea-starved me, anorexic-faced me, pissy me, kissy-faced me and... holding the camera at an uncomfortable angle me. go on, match them up!

1. 2.
3. 4.
5.

what's new pussycat?

woh-o-owo-woh-owo! especially good when sung in that raspy chris noth-y sort of voice. mmmm i'd hit that.

hello readers! yes, that's you, all two of you! (maybe three, on a good day?) sorry for the out-of-touchness, i'm trying to average a bloggaweek. we're on easter break, but it's not any freer. after the whole exam-we-didn't-register-for-but-still-went-to-but-didn't-get-to-do-surprise-surprise-fiasco, we're now working on our projects. uninspired to the max.

at least i finished this play we're supposed to read, fröken julie. all about sex and slaves in the madness that was sweden circa the 1800's. except i really couldn't discern the part where fröken had sex with the jean the servant. i mean, one minute they were talking, cue interval, and then she was all woe is me fallen woman. i quite liked it. i'm schmitzing with the idea of a swedish blog, but my friends aren't really the bloggy type (i perform better when it's actually a performance).

grown-up me is having a little tea shindig this wednesday. i plan to serve to-die-for blueberry muffins (although i'm thinking of subbing with choco chips) carrot cake and lasagna. pictures if and when it happens.

here's a picture for youse. our big blow-out before nicole left for china, after dinner. i think it's about two and we're at the pub...

aaah it took me 5 minutes to upload these photos! nts: buy bateries!
also, learn how to spell batteries! bleargh it's too late at night.



[i wonder how you rotate a picture here.]

i look shocked.

it's easy to be happy when it's sunny out

so it's been a fab couple of days weather-wise. but the title's not really all true, i've been in sort of a slump lately. or listless. i woke up in SUCH a foul mood this morning, i skipped 3 classes (been doing that a lot lately). i hate whiny me.

i have these 2 friends who are super optimistic, but i was talking to them today, about normal versus extra-ordinary. are you that sort of person who always thought you were destined to one day do something really ground-breaking earth-shattering (really the same thing) or the person who thought you'd have a normal white-picket fence sort of existence? i don't know, maybe that's extra-ordinary for some people. the point is, shouldn't you have high expectations, or are you better off not setting yourself up for a fall? i day-dream, and lately i have been getting further and further away from what i think would really make me happy, or what i thought my life would be at this point. eun young said something that stuck. her being optimistic about the ordinary is just a way of protecting herself from the disappointment in not achieving the extra-ordinary. it's a very "garden state" (the defining movie of our generation? rather) notion... what now? what comes after this point?

i'm a self-proclaimed spoiler fanatic (heck i read three pages of book six, flipped to the end and *SPOILER AHEAD* found out dumbledore died!) and maybe that's a way of protecting yourself too, preparing you and keeping you from getting your hopes up. what if there was a spoiler for life, not knowing everything but just the general gist and tone of it all... i couldn't resist. hmmm good thinking god. where's my sense of adventure and the unknown, right? one of the guys from the korridor moved out last week, after 7 count 'em 7 years! i give you, my carrot cake for the occasion!

in the fridge



half-way through



my neighbour polishing it off. heart nena!

a good book

a good book is when, the closer you get to the end, the more your heart breaks. you can't stop yourself from ending it, but your heart breaks all the same, and you don't want it to end.

a good book is when, right after you're done, you'll go straight back to the beignning and start skimming through it all over again, savouring it all over again, holding on to the little bits that really meant something to you.

a good book is when it changes your life, even for a little while, painting your world, your language a different colour, tinting and tainting it with it's own.

when you'll even suffer through reading the foreword, and the little writer's note, even though you know it's usually glorified self-advertising crap, just to have a little more to do with the book.
when, long after it's finished, you'll lay awake at night imagining the lives of these characters moving on, slightly saddened by the fact that they closed the door on you, and you never really get to know what happens at the real end of it all.

when at random moments during your day you'll remember and you'll laugh, and be the only person to know why. inner smile (texas, by the way, and it's a good song).

i just finished a GOOD book.

library lovers

so i went to the library on friday. it's absolutely gorgeous, which makes me really happy. but something that doesn't is the absolute lack of catalogueing. the books are NEVER where they're supposed to be, and i spent about half an hour putting them back. they should just start paying me. needless to say, i didn't find the books i was looking for, but i did by complete accident stumble upon what's eating gilbert grape, the book of the movie i almost did but didn't see. i'm a total deppazoid. but i'm falling in love with this book. it's been so long since i've read a good book, classic reader's block. i've also got an oscar wilde and a stephen king book (king's my dirty pleasure).

it's shaping up to be a pretty good week.

our absolutely stellar library...

the universe KNEW i'd straightened my hair

and so it rained. or rather poured. and living in flat flat linköping which offers no protection at all, you get that curious kind of rain-wind collaboration that just seems to find you no matter where you're standing...

despite the sucky weather yesterday, i went to "the party that did not suck!". surprisingly enough. earlier in the evening i was contemplating how the best part of any party is the dressing up, and it usually is. but we had such a blast last night! mostly because no one got completely plastered... see, it is so much more fun this way! yea, you'll see.

and i bought this super cute dress, which is why i was out in aforesaid weather. but it looks like i'm headed to a funeral.

i want you to want me

i need you to need me. (oh heath! why god, why?) the other day, i got to thinking about our relationships. do you think we have an inherent need to be liked? the other day i had the rather unpleasant sensation that my språklab teacher didn't like me (she was giving me the stink eye all class), it was really uncomfortable. even in relationships, would you even like the other person if you didn't have some inkling that they liked you too-o, to rescue you from the dread of rejection?we protect ourselves from loving, or even liking, fearlessly.

watch this film. it's called "welcome to hebron" (no connection) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY83Tf-4_Xs&feature=related and it's about this then 17 year old girl, leila sarsour, and the town of hebron in the israeli occupied west bank. it's not about the political, but the everyday, and it is powerful. somethimes you come across people who make you want to be so much better than this self-consumed person you know in your heart that you are.

my team had the oral exam this week, and we totally OWNED team 2! to be fair, we did bribe with brownies. and pop.

in other news, the flavour of the week is lemon meringue! try it, it's easy, but i'd strongly recommend you use less sugar and more lemon. well, i used lime (more tangy). http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Lemon-Meringue-Pie-III/Detail.aspx and maybe a little less cornstarch. it really sticks to the roof of your mouth. enjoy!

my meringue



me with my meringue



i look stressed. it's been a touh week.

dance uninhibitedly.

newbie

get this, my friend, who i'm doing my oral exam with, thinks it's a good idea to do our presentation on "the swedish porn industry". but instead of researching bert milton, self-proclaimed porno king of scandinavia, here i sit writing my... fourth post!



we had a massive corridor clean-up today (and i mean vacuum cleaning and EVERYTHING, the whole shabang), it reminded me of those big clean-ups we used to have in the dorm every fourth sunday back in the day, but i can't for the life of me remember what those were called! something silly and new-zealandy, no doubt. heh.



then i devoted my entire evening to learning chess, and i've got to say, kid, i ain't half bad. although i lost. it was a closely-contested game. yea. but i've got the worst case of beginner's luck ever. the first time i baked this apple cake, it came out gloriously, but by the third time it'd sort of sunk in the middle and all the stuffing had come out and been impaled on the oven floor. speaking of new things, i baked the most, THE most saliva-worthy lasagna. the repertoire increases. and my posts are starting to look like the diary of a very hungry girl.



do you think you're a different person to different people? if you don't think so, i salute you... you big liar. to some extent you'd have to be wouldn't you? although me i'm usually in the complete pushover category, where you'd have to bend over backwards to fit. to be completely yourself with someone, that's brave and rare, and i'm thankful i have my girls. i miss being the me i was with you sometimes, where you just understood every expression and joke and smile, and just... got me. it's tiring to think i'm doing it all over again.



i'm off to hit the porn sites yet again :D. this week, i regale you with pictures of my room!






AND some of the kids from my korridor (no, it' spelled that way). ah they're great! ignore the naked butt ladies up top.

today IKEA, tomorrow the world!

"should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere? or would it be a waste? even If i knew my place should i leave it there?" ~adele

finished baking fab brownies (quite simply my best ever) for the ULTIMATE study party. they really are a thing of beauty, chocolate sprinkles, dark chocolate frosting, walnut chewiness. i had my misgivings about the vanilla essence (with traces of bourbon...) but it is killer hunting down real vanilla essence here. you have to go all the way to stockhom (the BIG town), they use these grubby vanilla stick-like HERBS here. hopefully, the bourbon just... evaporated. the instant i started this diet, i've been obsessed with food in general, häagen dazs' strawberry cheesecake in particular. i mean, i've lain awake at night just thinking of all that creamy goodness!

on the upside i'm starting my pilates classes on sunday :D. and the last time i was at the gym i saw this really fun kick-boxing class...

depressed to realise that most of my furniture is from ikea. but that didn't stop me from going out today and buying a kick-ass floor pillow from ikea. you never realise you actually NEED (not want, need) these things till you go to their inspiration floor. still heart ikea.

have adele's chasing pavements on a constant loop. it makes me sad.





NEW SHOES! old feet.

table for one

i spent the entire day by myself today, it was just one of those beautiful chilly days. skipped class, and after some bank stuff in the morning, i went shopping. one gina tricot sweater (and another covetted http://shop.hm.com/se/?action=viewcampaign617collection&page=13&subpage=3) and way too much money later, i wondered why it's so hard to find the perfect pair of jeans. is it like great loves, and you only find so many pairs that fit you absolutely perfectly? so i also had one of those days where nothing bottom-wise fit, and sweden makes NOTHING intended for child-bearing bengali hips... pah.

californication is a good show. david duchovny makes me feel like home. <3>

here's to me

so, three false starts aside, i'm finally blogging. skål!

the first couple of times, i was deterred and just plain thrown by the fact that everything appeared in swedish. but i'm back, with six months under my belt, and let's be straight, a bigger dictionary. (it really is fabulous, red and glossy).

distinct feeling of righteous self-satisfaction.